it has only been half a day and the day couldn't get any worst.

first, it was the email. about changing the port name. it should be CNWGQ instead of CNSHA. and last two weeks, the lady sent the same email but for a different vessel. and then yanti asked me to take note. ok, i did. before that, marian also asked me to take note... that was very very long ago. and i told her that the CSR always asked me to change to CNSHA. so, i did. then she told the CSR people. but the CSR people very very stubborn one. they still asked me to change the port to CNSHA when they want to upload for SGSIN. but when they uploaded already, they didn't tell me. so, how do i know they uploaded already or not?! then the lady who sent that whatever attachment, had to copy almost everyone important. like wth kan. you can just send to me. so now, everybody will think i'm bloody degil and never listen one. which is half true ahh. i know i'm bloody degil ahh (at home) but i listen one (at work).

second, it was the msg from capt ali. saying that we can collect our logbook anytime now. (wtf?!)
tell me ahh. who would want to go back to school just to collect the stupid logbook. bloody shit ahh. sorry ahh. i'm soo fuming mad ahh. my workplace in tanjong pagar. i'm staying in simei. and now, have to bloody go back school which is a 20 minute ride from tanjong pagar to dover and bloody 5-10 minute walk to SMA. and for what? just to collect the bloody logbook. and then, have to walk for bloody 5-10 minute to dover mrt and then sit on the bloody train for a 40 minute, just to reach simei. bloody sehh!

third, i forgot to send out the weekly schedule which i did early in the morning (before 9am) last friday, until dennis came to me and asked me about it. how can i bloody freaking forget it?! i did it! seriously. i did. but just one fucking mistake (yes, bloody forgot), it will get people thinking. yalah. paranoid ahh.

i'm getting very vulgar ah these days. bloody idiot.
i just feel, either i go back to school today, or i take half day tomorrow. because, if it drags.. i'm soo not going to get my logbook back. but then again, after what happened today, i don't think it's a good idea to ask kenny for a half day tomorrow. cos i bloody don't deserve it lah! (i think so!)

yah. what a day to start the week. i soo bloody can't wait for itp to end. because, it's killing me/eating me alive!

i bet if ibu happen to come across my blog, i'm soo gonna be bloody dead.
and yesterday didn't help either. ibu was super mad at me. and i can't help that i got mad too.
alah. these few days at home, i don't think i'm like myself anymore.
i seriously don't know why!
seriously ahh.. what happened to me.

ok, maybe you should all just stop sms-ing me, or call me. unless it's seriously serious. cos at this point of time... this is what i think i should do.. for this whole week.. i would want to keep to myself. lock up the room and just lie down. ahhhh!
everything doesn't seem right. shit ahh.. i think i can on and on about how bad my life really is, at this point of time. but i guess, i better stop.

i'm soo freaking mad at myself lah. no one to blame, but myself. i seriously think i need to lock myself up. grounded until i think i'm ready.
die aisyah, die.